Dear Dr. Levy - 21/07/12 - 13 Stone

Dear Dr. Levy,

I’m 13 stone and it won’t budge, but it’s nice to feel like I’m a size smaller than I used to be. That’s it for now. I don’t feel like blogging on this unused web space much longer.

Dear Dr. Levy - 01/04/12 - Proper Hypo

Dear Dr. Levy,
This is no April Fools’ joke, but I’ve recently had a hypo - like, a proper one - and it scared the living daylights out of me. From now on, I’ll never end my blogs/letters with “I doubt I’ll be blogging again before I see you, unless something major happens” because that was fairly major. It happened the next day.

I woke up before lecture and had a bowl of cereal with my tablets. Went to lecture and had a Double Decker during the break. Naughty me, I know. Anyway, after lecture, I walked halfway home with a friend - he lives on the other end of the local park, which goes on for miles. It was also sunny and on the way back, on the phone to my friend, I said “I think I’m having a hypo. No, I actually am..” I felt the symptoms and sat down for a bit. Not a good idea, because I stood up and couldn’t walk. For once, I felt REALLY low and I panicked because (for once) I didn’t have anything sweet in my bag, due to my attempts at being healthier - I had the Double Decker earlier, but that was ‘it’ for me, if you see what I mean?

I ended up going to Subway and barely finished my footlong, but my sugars reached a normal level. Since that incident, I’ve been sure to tell my housemates about my diabetes (they knew to an extent and some knew more things than others). I made sure they knew that a hypo was no joke and if I’m ever frenzying for chocolate (sans grabbing them by their collars - that’s for another time when I need chocolate) that they should help me out as soon as possible. 

Aside from that, I’m good. My boss reckons I’m getting better at my job - a barmaid in a social club - and I’ve got a new house down the road. I’m absolutely chuffed and will now register with a local-er GP now that I have some stability down here.

See you on Tuesday! :) 
Me. 

New theme.

This one should be easier to navigate. The old one annoyed me. :)

Dear Dr. Levy - 26/03/12 - Trying

Dear Dr. Levy,
Yesterday, I ate a Subway salad and a packet of cookies. I also had a bowl of cereal later and although that wasn’t the most healthy of days, I’m rather proud of that. I want to try this whole “healthy” thing properly-ish. After being so used to junk, this will be a bit of a long process. I say that after I’ve just attempted to eat a doner kebab tonight. 

Yesterday, I went to the park with my salad and read a book. It was a lovely sunny day and it made me feel chilled out and not totally hungry. I skipped breakfast, simply because I daren’t go up to that kitchen for a while. Today, I got a meal deal from Boots - sandwich, drink and a packet of crisps. It wasn’t too healthy, but it was light. I also tried a wafer bar from Boots’ No Added Sugar range and you know what? It was really nice! Usually I associate no added sugar being equal to no added flavour, but I did like the wafer bar. I’m going to try to have things from that range as my main treat from now on. It’ll be occassional because it could also lead to me breaking the bank.

Speaking of banks and money and everything I dislike… I’ve got a house sorted out and will pay the deposit on Wednesday. I’m also pleased to say that, due to not using my overdraft at all this year, I’m in a very decent financial situation. 

Anyway, I should probably explain the kebab. Today I went to the park with my Boots lunch and then I came back and fell asleep. My mate rang me and I checked my blood sugar because I felt that usual dizziness. 4.8, not too high and certainly not too low, but enough to make me think “I should probably eat something to raise it a little bit.” So I did. I went up to my kitchen and I have literally nothing. Probably out of pure laziness, I decided to get a kebab. My mate on the phone wasn’t helping much, either. I’m proud to say I didn’t eat it all, because I felt quite sick, to be honest. 

I’ve also been taking my tablets, except I’ve slightly upped my dose over the past few weeks. Whenever I’ve taken the tablets (which I will admit has been hardly, because I tend to forget..) I have a Eucreas tablet and two Repliniglides. If I actually take both Eucreases, I’ll have the two Repliniglides with each dose. So four Repliniglides instead of three. It’s not a major change, but it may affect me. I’ve only started this over the past few weeks, like I’ve said and I’ve only just kicked my arse in gear over the past few days.

I think I’ve gained weight, too, which is what has frustrated me into kicking myself into gear. I bought a dress in December which is a size 18 and it used to be quite loose at some points and I could slide it on easily. Now, it’s snug. I don’t like being snug as a size 18, because I don’t like being fat. 

Tomorrow I plan to have breakfast after the cleaners deal with my kitchen and then I’ll also have lunch before my lecture, then tea later on. I’ll probably snack later in the evening because my friend’s coming back to sign the house contract on Wednesday, but I’ll try eating some fruit if I’m snacking. I’m rather fond of the Sainsbury’s pre-packed fruit selections, especially if I’m out and about - which I tend to be, because it’s so boring around here…

Anywho, that’s all for now. I doubt I’ll be blogging again before I see you, unless something major happens. 

Staying alive for now,
Me.  

Dear Dr. Levy - 20/03/12 - Hello

Dear Dr. Levy, 
I’m still alive and I’ll see you on the 3rd April, which is my boyfriend’s birthday. We’re still together and so far, so good. Hope you got my blood test results, I sort of didn’t go to a recent appointment, so I have a feeling that my GP will yell at me. Oops.

I haven’t been feeling too upbeat as of late in terms of diabetes and I’ve fucked up big time with my blood sugars. I wish I could just magically make them “work properly” again. It frustrates me. I’m sick of over-sleeping and constant headaches. 

I tried to transfer courses, but I’ve concluded (thanks to money being the major factor) that I’ll stick with Journalism. 

That’s all for now. :)

Sincerely, 
Me. 

Dear Dr. Levy - Comfort - 29/02/12

Dear Dr. Levy, 
Happy leap year. I’d also like to apologise for the lack of blogs and general updates about how the ol’ diabetes is going. I don’t know why I just said that, because let’s face it, I’ll never be ecstatic about it to the point where I’m pleased. 

Anywho, I went for a fasting blood test yesterday. You’re linked with my GP and stuff, so you should get the results. I’ll also go for another one before 3rd April, when I next see you. I may have fasted, but I predict the results to be rather rubbish. 

The title of this blog - Comfort - is to do with how I’ve been feeling recently. I don’t feel comfortable where I’m living. The kitchen is constantly a state and it makes me hate being in there for more than five minutes. We get a cleaner in every Tuesday morning and last week it was a pig sty within a day. I hadn’t gone into the kitchen (which is directly above my room) for a day, so none of the filth was my own. Our bin was overflowing and there wasn’t a clean surface in sight. My baking tray has gone missing, as well as a majority of my cutlery. 

Due to not feeling comfortable in the kitchen, I barely went in last week. After the cleaner came yesterday, it was decent. I baked with my friend. We made cookies. But back onto the whole “comfort” thing… I didn’t feel comfortable last week, so I think I mainly lived on takeaways and snacks, or went to a friend’s house. I regret not eating properly before I went to work on Saturday, though, because I had a hypo after taking my tablets earlier. I soon wolfed down a BLT to sort that out. 

My weight isn’t shifting from around 13 stone and my other friend is considering joining the gym for £20 a month. Sounds decent, but I’m not sure about doing it. I also - this is going to sound stupid - save my money for a new tooth. I chipped my tooth a couple of days ago and it’s a massive chunk. Sadly, it’s also the tooth that is mostly filling, so I have a feeling that it’ll cause problems later this month. I’ll have to wait until April for an appointment, which is irritating. I regret getting a tounge piercing last year. 

Anyway. You’re not a dentist, so I don’t know why I’m going on about my poor tooth…

Sincerely,
Me. 

Dear Dr. Levy - 06/02/12 - Slipping…

Dear Dr. Levy, 

My diet’s a mega-failure, yet again. It feels as if I either binge on fruit, or have bucketloads of junk. I know that it’s not exactly healthy, but I’m just trying to get on with things. I can’t plan meals for shit, though my cupboards have decided that during this next week, I’ll be eating:

  • Spaghetti hoops + toast
  • Chicken Super Noodles with bread
  • Neopolitan ice-cream
  • Some chicken nuggets
  • Chicken mayo sandwiches

Yup. 

Though, that being said, I am going to the Houses of Parliament tomorrow - it’s a Journalism trip, woohoo! - so I’ll pop up to see my parents. I’m going to raid their cupboards (what’s new?) and have a meal (or five) while I’m there. The best part is that funds will be reimbursed by my university. 

I’m honestly - and trulymadlydeeply - hoping that I get some money on Wednesday. My friend/former manager has promised to give me a bit of money from all the time I spent working for the YMCA - I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I quit there a couple of weeks ago, due to the manager getting fired. Either way, I hope to get money. 

I’m now a barmaid in a social club. It’s only one night a week, but it’s cash in hand - roughly £37.50 a night - so it’s all good. I just wish I could save money better. I need to work on that. But I need to get some new folders and stuff for my uni work. And it’s Valentine’s Day soon, though I reckon I’ve got that sorted. No, I don’t. 

I’ve also started house-hunting with my cheesecake-loving friend and another friend of mine, whose house I tend to spend most of my spare time at, and we’ll also be living with another lad, who’s a friend of cheesecake-lover. I should give my friends better codenames, shouldn’t I? My second friend and I get on like a house on fire, it’s hilarious. I’m really happy with her around, to be honest, and can’t wait ‘til we all live together. I’ve looked around for everything from flats, to houses and mansionettes. Oh, and a mansion. But let’s be real. 

For now, I’m not stressed and my university work is going fine. That’s a lie. This blog post to you is a form of procrastination in itself.

Going back to being a Journalism student now! 

Sincerely,
Me.  

Dear Dr. Levy - Next Year.. - 28/01/12

Dear Dr. Levy,

Next year I’ll be sure to get a flu jab. I’ve been stubborn for long enough and let’s face it, sniffing and snorting is not a good look. Plus, I feel like shit.

Snuggling in my jammies and a blankie, 
Me.  

Dear Dr. Levy - 20/01/12 - Pattern?

Dear Dr. Levy,
I’ve noticed something. Whenever I forget my tablets in the morning and find that I’m not carrying anything at all (usually I try to at least carry my Eucreas tablets), I tend to pig out like crazy

In a nutshell, I had a cookie for breakfast. I then attempted to have porridge for lunch, until my manager/super-close mate came down from his meeting and asked me to go to KFC with him while he let off some steam - I had a Popcorn Chicken Snack Box, Mini Fillet and one of my manager’s hot wings, with Pepsi Max. After that, a colleague/mate of mine came back to work with “lunch” for my manager and I. She bought me a Big Mac meal (I caved…) but I did split it with another colleague. I had a few chips from it, half of the burger and a Sprite Zero. After work, I went bowling with the friend who bought me the Big Mac meal and she bought me a bacon bap and some chips. I then came home to my friend that lives up the road and cooked us cheeseburgers and wedges. Then I had some Raspberry Ripple ice cream. And other things, probably. 

I feel like a pig. That being said, it’s the second day of… How can I say this without sounding crude? My “aunt flo” is visiting. 

Yesterday, in contrast, I bought an M&S meal for one which was a chicken breast meal with mashed potato, peas and carrots. I can’t remember off of the top of my head what else I ate, but that was the key thing. Oh, I think I went to McDonalds and had the Deli of the Day - Grilled chicken with salad - but I had large chips, so my friend could get a free cheeseburger out of my NUS card. 

I’m also addicted to Rockstar energy drinks. The sugar free one. It’s called Perfectberry, which is strawberry, raspberry and blueberry. I went through a little phase where I had about one a day, mostly just to wake up in the mornings, but I haven’t had one today. I tend to drink too many fizzy drinks, though. I don’t really talk about what I drink, do I? It’s mostly Diet Coke or Pepsi Max, anyway. 

Back to today… I went home, checked my blood sugars and it was 12.9. Shit. I’ve just checked them now and they’re worse. My reading is 13.3. I feel crap right now… Not physically, but emotionally. I’ve probably had days like this before - you know, where my blood sugar was sky high - but I haven’t noticed. It’s 1.46am and I can’t exactly go jogging - what is this, an Always advert?! - but I’ll see how I am in the morning. 

Until then, I think I should go to bed. I have work in the morning and promised to be in for 9. I reckon I’ll need a Rockstar drink tomorrow. Or two. 

Sincerely, 
Me.  

Dear Dr. Levy - 17/01/12 - Motivation

Dear Dr. Levy,
I need to get my arse in gear.

I’ve been ever-so-slightly annoyed at my friend (remember my cheesecake-loving chum from earlier?) for not getting her arse in gear, in terms of unpacking and motivating herself, but I’ve come to realise that it’s probably me reflecting my anger towards myself onto her, if that makes sense? I don’t know, it’s 1.42am, I’m tired. I’m blogging really quickly while this thought is fresh on my mind, but basically, before my friend went home for the holidays, I was staying on her floor. While I was there, it was motivation for me to actually cook. I’m not the best of cooks, however, I do find it motivational to cook for two. To have someone - not rely or depend on you… Hmm, how do I say this? - appreciate? Yeah, someone appreciate the fact that you’ve cooked something for both of you to enjoy.

My friend does appreciate when I cook for us and I like that feeling. One time, I cooked turkey breasts (accidently picked those up instead of chicken, oops..), with mozzarella cheese, some rice with chicken noodle soup and some broccoli and carrots. It was a complete and utter failure, but my friend still ate it and complimented my efforts. Isn’t turkey healthier anyway?

The point is that my friend and I shopped together for food, while discussing potential meals. It was easier while we were living under the same roof, sharing the same kitchen and saw each other every night, but while I’ve been kick-starting myself back into another newer routine - such as a university timetable that is made up of workshops this month, rather than lectures, while my friend doesn’t start lectures until next month either, but has a bucketload of essays to be writing and balancing that with work - while worrying about my rapidly-decreasing funds. I’m not gonna lie (when do I on this blog?), but my friend isn’t the best with her money, or even with her bank card most days. I’m worried about forking out loads of money (Probably about £30 at the most, but as a student, that hurts!) and cooking, while I get poorer. At the same time, it’ll benefit my health. 

Do you know how much I’ve been craving fruit and vegetables? Tonight, my friend and I had a kebab (a very rare ‘treat’ for me usually, as they make me feel sick afterwards) and although I don’t get all of the salad, I asked for extra helpings of lettuce and cucumber. My friend and I were literally sharing out the small portion of salad before we even bothered with the greasy little kebab. I do want to start eating more fruit and vegetables, it’s just finding the time and motivating myself into cooking properly again. I think I might have salad and chips tomorrow, actually. For now, I feel so disgusting after wolfing down that kebab, if I’m being honest… And the chocolate log I grabbed from home after Christmas probably didn’t help, either. I did have an apple before I left my mate’s, though.

I think fruit is the way forward. 

Sincerely,
Me. 

PS. I weighed myself a couple of days ago. 12 stone, 10. Some conversion site is telling me that it’s roughly 76kg. I want to keep this up! 

PPS. Just done my blood sugars. 10.1. I’m sorry, pancreas.